Inshallah, and the Lord's Prayer

I talked to a Christian guy about Islam, and he said he couldn't do it. "You don't understand. They simply believe that they must surrender everything to God, and that everything that happens is from God, and they don't really question anything. They just submit. I couldn't do that."

I actually used the term "Inshallah" (If it is the will of Allah) for any future plan that involved travelling from one side of Karachi to the other in any form of motorised transport, or for any plan which involved me getting an Iranian visa. "Next month you are going to ride a bicycle to Teheran?" "Inshallah."
I like the word. It puts more humility into the act of describing what great thing you plan on doing tomorrow or next month or next year. Or in the case of Iran, maybe in 5 years.

But lets look at how the followers of Christ are supposed to pray.

Our Father which art in heaven,Hallowed be thy name,
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,but deliver us from evil:

For thine is the kingdom,and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

--- Matthew 6:9-13 - KJV (I don't actually have this version in hard copy; I googled it. If this is incorrect please forgive me my tresspasses)

Alright, what is the Christ-follower supposed to do? Besides absentmindedly saying or singing this once a week?

1) Address God, in heaven, and exalt his name above all else
2) Submit and surrender entirely to the will of God on heaven and earth
3)Ask for God to provide the needs for this work that he deems necessary
4)Ask for forgiveness where we have strayed from his devine plan
5) Ask for deliverance, that we will not stray again

This is what, above all else, he should ask his creator to provide.

Am I going to become a Christian?

No, you don't understand. They simply believe that they must surrender everything to God, and that everything that happens is from God, and they don't really question anything. They just submit. I couldn't do that.

Alright, for all the long-winded Church-Channel bashing, I do have to give one speaker credit.
Sage advice from a very well-trained dynamic and well-dressed black guy:

How do you find your ministry? Its easy. Your ministry is your misery. Thats right. Your Ministry is your misery. Take a look at what pisses you off. Annoyed that everyone is always late and the office is a mess? Maybe your gift is administration. Annoyed that the singer is off key? Your gift is music.

So maybe my hatred for Televangelists preying on the weak is my call to help them. Start visiting little old ladies and babysitting for stressed out church moms so they can shut off the idiot box and have a little social interaction.

And maybe my hatred for overpriced reference material, books, CDs, DVDs means I should do something to establish a Christian library in my community where people can pay something silly like $10 once for the card then borrow stuff, even the latest stuff from a Californian mega-church, for free.

Maybe running away is not the way to fight the more intolerant and intolerable Christian elements. Now, if only I was actually convinced that there is a God at all...

Pray for televangelists
(I mean, Prey for televangelists)

So I'm in a sub-siberian foriegn city. I don't speak the language, I'm dangerously ill, the doctor has done a number of tests and told me nothing remotely encouraging in fact everything she told me was in Russian, later translated to "You are getting better, but have been very very ill. Do not leave your home, take these pills for 15 days, then return to Canada." Of course I can not return to Canada, I have no home in Canada, I have no job, and its winter. (Of course I have no job in Bishkek and no home here either, but the rent is only $4 / day)

Of course, being lonely and bored and worried and wanting to get my mind off things, I turn to the TV. 2 days of Al Jazeera and BBC informing me that "Obama is in China" have me bored enough to turn to Church Channel, the only other English-language programme.

Here is what I learned after a day of watching Church Channel:

For $100 to Master's Touch Ministries Global, I will "see a tangible blessing" Any call or pledge to TBN network will get me a golden-domed creche with Mary, Joseph, and Jesus, For $35 or more I can recieve "Biblical dietary laws" and, while supplies last, Free! Adrenal supplement. To help children, call 1-800-947-LIFE, take out your bank card, and donate $30, 50, or 100. Recieve a special blue and gold christmas throw. For one thousand dollars, I can feed 100 childern, and will recieve a bronze sculpture!
The Tabernacle prayer method (which seemed sound btw, but the programme was all frosting and no meat and potatos. To get the substance of the teaching, I must buy the book) for any gift, but for $150 they'll throu in a scented candle, designed to replicate the insence recipe given in Exodus. "The church Channel is broadcast 24/7 to uplift you. Please send gifts." For $25, learn more about the fear of the Lord. Activate angels in your life with this wonderful book for $30 or more. Buy the Love revolution, entire curriculum, by Joyce Meyer. For $15, buy the DVD set "Is America a Christian Nation?"
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okay, you might say, every network must have ads, ads are how TV programs can be on the air in the first place. But there is a difference between advertising a vaccuum cleaner that no pet owner should live without or a Kokanee beer ('cause we all know that the minute we buy the 6-pack we'll be magically transported into a mountain chalet with 20 beautiful girls) and advertising a book or CD that will tell you how to have eternal life, how to have friends, how to not be lonely, how to get the power of healing, how to reduce the stress of being stuck at home with triplets, how to save my life. Telling someone they will go to Hell is slightly less ethical than telling someone that their brand of instant noodles is inferior

"Healers" asking for money from the bedridden and sick. The vulnerable.

Pastors with money and slick churches with rock bands and choirs asking for donations from people that attend a small country church that can barely afford their new powerpoint system and don't quite have enough in the budget for a youth leader

Book-writers and pastors, all with fake tans and plastic surgery (seriously. Not a single girl with a natural appearance. What does this say to Christian women?) giving a sermon where not a single new thing is learned. Seriously. I don't count myself a Bible expert or mature Christian (or really a Christian at all), but most of the Bible mentioned in these messages, between the special offers and "Buy my book for more information, and if you like what you heard today", I had actually MEMORISED let alone heard, by the age of 12. Its not a sermon, its a sales pitch. It pisses me off. It makes me worried about the thousands of vulnerable people.

I am worried about thousands of vulnerable people who have no where else to turn but their TV. I've only been in pain, lonely, alienated, and stressed for 2 days, and derive amusement as opposed to comfort from this, but what if I was in a bed-ridden state indefinitely. Lost. Lonely. Weak. Discouraged. I am worried about who they are giving their financial gifts to. I am worried about where they are placing their trust.

Seriously. So intrigued was I by the "News" segment (One-world church and one-world government! The new world order is upon us!) that I almost ordered the guy's book and 'Prophesy Bible' to compliment my own study of Revelation and Daniel.
And if I almost bought it, what about the masses of fanatical sheep awaiting rapture...